Waking up.

I feel cold and a little empty I woke up this morning to the realization that my cousin passed away I've known since last night but it didn't hit me for real till when I woke up today. We were close for a really long time and then as life often does it split us away so we weren't so close anymore so I question why do I feel so strange and empty and morn for someone I in a sense hardly knew? I do know part of it is because she was and is the strongest person I have ever met no matter how hard it got or how painful it was she never once wanted to talk about her problems to me it was always how are you? whats going on with you? never once did she complain to me about how bad things were or how much she hurt, it tends to make me feel guilty for spilling my guts to her when she had it worse I find myself wishing I had talked to her more when I had the chance. she will forever remain my hero and my inspiration to push on when times get hard and no matter how bad it hurts god always has a plan and a reason behind the things he does. The saying live every day as if it was your last has never rung more true then in this moment people die younger and younger every day so make every moment count and hold on to hope even when there isn't any left.