barbie syndrom

Feeling plastic feeling fake how much more can I take? good fucking question I feel cold and hard numb and out of it all I wanna feel again I don't want to hurt and be sick to my stomach all the time. Love is blind it will take over your mind hold you in places you don't want to be I'm sick thinking about walking away my hair falls out my heart breaks i just would rather die than hurt myself and him like this. this is one time when i have to ask what did i do to deserve the men i have had in my life? will i ever get it right? will he ever stop making this so hard? i cry myself to sleep more often than not because when he makes me mad this is how it goes or when it's my fault i cry and granted i started it this time but it hurts the he doesn't like to be romantic he is sweet when i'm sick or hurt but on a day to day he barely touches me i have to whine and cry to get anything from him i gave all i had to give and got all this in return so i go cold and emotionless for my own good if there are no high expectations there is no fear and no pain so i remain played with and put on a shelf when he's done just like a barbie doll.